On December 31st, 2019, I made a new year's resolution to paint every single day of 2020. What stared off as a seemingly inconsequential party with some wine moms, ended up being a year long commitment. Despite the dumpster fire that was 2020, I managed find a way to stay productive even while battling some personal demons. Now, as I celebrate the New Year, and having recently turned 30, I am feeling reflective. I achieved my goal (mostly), but what can I take away from this experience? What Comes Next?
The Secret Wisdom of Wine Moms
My first creative outlet was pencil and paper. After graduating college, my inner critic became so loud it, was difficult to even pick up a pencil. As a result, my traditional drawing skills have suffered. Plagued with thoughts like, "you should be better at this by now," I lost the passion I used to have for learning how to draw.
About a year before my ambitious goal, I found myself in one of those wine mom, paint and sip, art classes with a friend from work. I knew I would enjoy myself, but I didn’t expect to find the experience so therapeutic. Without a solid foundation in acrylics, my inner critic was at a loss for words. My crude painting of a window box full of flowers was terrible, but I was still having fun. Exploring a new medium without any preconceived notions about how skilled I should be was refreshing. I left the class with a renewed love for learning how to make art.
Nature Is My Therapist
Fast forward to Fall 2019, I happened to come into possession of a set of acrylic paint and some blank canvases. I sat down without much thought of what my intention was, other than to have fun. I was in kind of a dark place at the time. I had recently left Nintendo and incoming freelance work was slow. I honestly felt a bit lost and wanted fill my time something productive and positive. So I turned to Bob Ross, the most positive force in this world.
It was refreshing to dive into a new medium. I had unintentionally spent an entire month painting every single day. When I sat down to paint, the stress of everyday life would momentarily melt away. My focus and intentions were solely on the canvas in front of me. I found myself visiting the night sky and mountain forests. If painting was my therapy session, then nature was my therapist. Gardening, hiking, and camping have always helped me clear my head. Looking back, it only seems natural I would chose landscapes, skyscapes, and plants for my subject matter.
The Critic Returned and I Persisted
It took a few paintings for me to realize that Bob was using oils, not acrylics. This isn’t to say his techniques weren’t useful, but I soon turned to acrylic tutorials from Lachri Fine Art and Robin Sealark, just to name a few. Sometime around March, the inner critic began to offer his discouraging input, but I persisted. The more you learn about a particular medium, the easier it becomes for you to see what you are doing wrong. I've discussed this dynamic previously. To summarize, the gap between your inner vision and your physical skill level often leads to creative blocks. You can't escape your inner critic, but you can keep going.
Some days I could only manage a single stroke on the canvas. On these days I was either very busy or letting my critic get the best of me. However, I was determined to meet my goal! I even purchased a travel watercolor kit so I could paint while I was camping. The goal wasn't to paint a masterpiece, it was to put paint on canvas. I could do that. Setting this small achievable goal kept me motivated. I think it is easy to lose sight of your small accomplishments if you’re hell-bent only on lofty, long term goals.
Significant
After a few months of painting everyday I found I was feeling better, and not just about my art. I proved to myself that I had the discipline to stick to a goal and learn a new skill. I'm more confident than I have been in years and it feels great. I plan to keep painting everyday. This year I'm going push myself to put at least 20 mins a day into painting. I also want to continue celebrating my smaller accomplishments. I might have missed 5 days in 2020, but 360 out of 365 is significant.
In November, I spent my 30th birthday finishing a painting on the largest canvas I've completed to date. The idea was to recreate a rough rendition of the night sky on my birthday. I called the piece "Significant" to remind myself, despite the vastness of the cosmos, despite the magnitude of a summit, the goal I achieved was significant. My experiences are significant. I am significant.
Keep Persisting.
